Stars and Gripes II: My Final All-Star Picks (AL edition)

My Picks for the 2006 MLB All-Star Game

By Jonathan Medina

{American League Edition}

Please remember that I don’t follow the normal criteria on this one.  I pick the players that I truly believe deserve to be in there and do not base it at all on popularity or my favorite teams or players.  I also did not pick one player from every team, but if I had to pick one player from the Kansas City Royals, I’d definitely have to go with Bo Jackson.

Starting Lineup:

LF Grady Sizemore, Cleveland Indians (honorable mention goes to Heidi Fleiss and Willie Mays Hayes)

RF Ichiro, Seattle Mariners (the greatest one named superstar since Kamala)

SS Miguel Tejada, Baltimore Orioles (Jason Grimsley and Rafael Palmeiro gave a tip of the sombrero to their suspected third amigo, but I picked him over Jeter anyway, despite pleads by Mariah to do otherwise.)

1B David Ortiz, Boston Red Sox (I could’ve possibly put about 5 or 6 different people here, but every time I hear a baseball analysis ranting, they always tell me that this guy is the obvious MVP, so I felt the need to put him in here.  As far as the MVP goes, see how I feel about that down below.)

3B Alex Rodriguez, New York Yankees (Despite all of the boos and second guessing by critics across the map, he is still at or near the top of nearly every main offensive category among

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third basemen this year.  Period.)

C Joe Mauer, Minnesota Twins (I know everyone is up in arms about him being the choice by a landslide above all other AL catchers, but in my opinion, he just barely beats out Ramon Hernandez who has better all-around numbers and is having a consistently great season that may be unfortunately a bit overlooked as well)

CF Vernon Wells, Toronto Blue Jays (In other news, David Wells has made the all-drunk team for the 14^th straight season.)

2B Jose Lopez, Seattle Mariners (Who says “J-Lo” can’t buy a hit anymore?)

P  Jonathan Papelbon (who says that the Amazing Jonathan can’t start the game because he’s a closer?  He’s only going to pitch 2 innings anyway.  He was the best pitcher of the first half, just barely beating out Johan Santana as my choice for

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starter.)

First half Rookie of the Year:  Jonathan Papelbon followed very closely by Justin Verlander and Francisco Liriano

First half Cy Young Award Winner:  Jonathan Papelbon

First half MVP:  Jonathan Papelbon  (that’s right, I said it again.  He better at least get some votes if Ortiz ends up winning it.)

First half manager of the year:  Jim Leyland (also in first place for mustache of the year voting)

First half umpire of the year:  Frank Drebin (take that, Reggie Jackson)

Bonehead move of the first half:  The Anaheim Angels sending their best pitcher, Jared Weaver back to the minors.  Sure, they recently brought him back up again, but you don’t take a guy with that kind of momentum out of your rotation at any time.  Unless you’re Isiah Thomas.

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Reserves:

Cleveland

Indians:  Travis Hafner

Chicago

White Sox:  Paul Konerko, Jim Thome (how could the rest of the league allow the White Sox to get both of these guys?  Now you deserve to be punished by them.), Joe Crede, Jermaine Dye

Seattle

Mariners:  Raul Ibanez (I have the M’s down for 3 all-stars.  How can they not be better than this?  They even have Johjima, Beltre, Sexson, Meche and Putz.  Seriously, guys, you need to get it together like the Beastie Boys and Q-Tip.)

Toronto

Blue Jays:  Alex Rios (his name is Rios and he’s dancing on the sand after making his first all-star game)

Tampa

Bay

Devil Rays:  Carl Crawford (just missed cracking the starting lineup)

Boston

Red Sox:  Manny Ramirez (making the all-star team?  That’s just Manny being Manny)

New York

Yankees:  Derek Jeter

Texas

Rangers:  Michael Young (all he does is hit, hit, hit)

Baltimore

Orioles:  Ramon Hernandez (what a season)

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Pitching Staff:

Starters:

Johan Santana

,

Minnesota

Twins

Justin Verlander,

Detroit

Tigers

Mike

Mussina

,

New York

Yankees

Curt Schilling,

Boston

Red Sox

Scott Kazmir,

Tampa

Bay

Devil Rays (Thanks Mets.  Trading him for Carlos Zambrano may not have even been a good idea, but you swapped him for Victor Zambrano.  That’s like the one time I traded Ryne Sandberg for Jim Walewander in my Little Tikes Fantasy Baseball game at the age of ten)

Jose Contreras, Chicago White Sox (Now that was a good trade.  Trading Elian Gonzales back to

Cuba

for Contreras was brilliant.  Elian couldn’t throw a breaking ball to save his life.)

Francisco Liriano, Minnesota Twins (Way better than Nelson, and no, I’m not talking about Matthew and Gunnar.  Nobody beats those guys.  Not even Harvey Walden.)

Roy Halladay,

Toronto

Blue Jays

Relief pitchers:

Bobby Jenks, White Sox (no Sophomore Jenks for the big fella)

B.J. Ryan, Blue Jays

Mariano Rivera, Yankees (You can’t kill Mariano.  He’s like the MLB version of Samoa Joe)

Joe Nathan, Twins  (He’s having such a good season, he’s thinking of changing his name to Joe Nathan Papelbon.)

American League snubs:  (In order of….snubbiness?)

Jason Giambi, Yanks (where’s Jeremy?)

Nate Robertson, Tigers (where’s Robbie?)

Nick Swisher, A’s

Hank Blalock, Rangers (where’s Mookie?)

V-Mart, Tribe

Magglio Ordonez, Tigers (where’s Rey?)

K-Rod, Halo’s

Akinori Otsuka, Rangers

J.J. Putz, M’s

Orlando Cabrera, Halo’s

Mark Buehrle, Pale Hose

Kenny Rogers, Tigers (I’d like to “roast” this guy after last year’s incident.)

Justin Morneau, Twins

Casey Blake, Tribe

Robinson Cano, Yanks

Johnny Damon, Yanks

Troy Glaus, Blue Jays

Chris Ray, O’s (where’s Bubba?)

Kevin Youkilis, Bosox

Corey Patterson, O’s (where’s Pat?)